Do you know, what statements does most people like to say? I believe this is true for everyone that has passed teens age. I noticed that my friends like to say that, and most parents love to say this. What is it? It is the statements of “it was…” and “I wish..”

I’m sure that people still love the past. We usually compare the past with now. It was cooler back then, while now the weather is getting hotter and hotter. It was cheaper in the past, things are getting more expensive. People were friendlier, now people are more individuals. I wish I studied computer science, the salary are better. I wish I was born in Australia, the environment is more conducive there. And so on…

Have you ask or make the same statements? I like to make this statements. I’m not that old, but sometimes I feel that the past was still better and simpler. In today’s era, people are more competitive and individualistic, the cost of living is higher, and the school is getting more demanding. Don’t you think so?

In my previous blog, I was sharing on how to dream. this step that I think will help to move toward to your dream, which is to accept and forgive your past. It is good if you have make peace with your past. If you haven’t, it will drag you down. Most people move forward with anxious heart and more careful judgment to eliminate the possibilities of doing the same bad thing. But, tell me one thing, when you do that, are you getting better or it’s slow you down and the probability of doing the same thing is higher?

From what I learn, it doesn’t matter whether the past was good or bad. You need to get over it by these 3 steps:
1. Settle your past
There are two possibilities when you’re thinking of your past, either you love your past, or you hate your past. not all, but just some of it. I used to hold grudges of the past. When people hurt me, I don’t usually forget. Even when I forget it, my habit will kicks in and automatically set a distance from that person or from the person similar to him/her. I’m learning that the act of forgiving is releasing your past to the past. the fact that you have accepted your past, sometimes doesn’t mean that you have forgiven it. Don’t let your past dictates your future. your future is still unknown. What you do now will determine what you’re going to be in the future. Not what you did. There are some consequences when you did wrong, but forgive yourself and move forward.

If your past was always good, that’s good. use that as the foundation to move forward. don’t settle your mind in the past. even though the past is good, you can’t carry it to the present. Don’t let the past become your dream. Bur remember, process your past and close it. No matter what has happened, it will stay in the past. don’t live in it.

2. Learn from your past
What works or not works in the past is a great resource for you to do better. In current age, where we always work in a project basis or mundane activities, it is quite hard to do. Spend some time to debrief what had happened and learn from it. Record it so that you won’t forget. There are many projects that has been done but not reviewed. I don’t have the luxury to do that every time. But when I can, I do it, so that I know what works or not works.

One side note on this point, if you can, learn from other people’s experience too. You don’t need to experience the same failure. Brandon Mull summarize it better. “Smart people learn from their mistakes. But the real sharp ones learn from the mistakes of others.” – Brandon Mull, Fable haven.

3. Release your past
I like how the Bible say about our iniquities. In Hebrews 8:12, God says that He will remember our sins no more. I am a Christian and this first give me a relieve. Especially for those bad things that I did, God is not holding it accountable. I don’t know what you believe, but it is important for you to release the past. There are a lot of people that share similar things about holding grudges. One of them is Malachy that shared “Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” (Malachy McCourt 1998)

Even though it is mostly about the bad stuff that has happened, it also true for those positive experience. As when you keep holding on to it, it might make you hesitant to embrace the future because it will be different.

To have a dream is good for your soul. Embrace your dream and don’t be afraid. the future is full of possibilities, don’t limit it with your experience. Remember to learn from the past, yours or others, and keep moving forward. I hope it can help you to move forward, if you haven’t. As I’m sharing about this, it also help me to sort my mind to move forward.

Do you have a habit of processing your past? how do you feel about the future? I’d love to hear your sharing.

Hebrew 8: 12 – “For I (God) will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”