No matter how careful we have and how good our planning is, we will still face problem. There always something that come to our life suddenly. What kind of pain or problem that you might have at the moment? Have you ever feel you get in a similar problem over and over again? Do you feel frustrated on not able to solve the problem faster than it should? Maybe your wife or your co worker decide to blame it on you and you retaliate. Things get ugly and seems that the problem is spiraling down fast. Have you ever feel that way? I’m sure you have or even experiencing it now. There’s a time when I plan to go to relax and just want to do chores. And then out of no where my dad asked for my help without me able to say no. When i tried to say no, he get really upset because of it and he said something hurtful. I feel that from that moment, I hold grudges on him. So I tried to walk away and elude him whenever I can.

There is also health problem. We might think to have a good buffet dinner, but suddenly an hour before we go there, we feel a pain in our chest. Which might means we have either a heartburn or have a light heart attack. There goes our hope to have a good dinner because it will make it worse. But for me, I did felt that way once before, and I be very cautious with what I eat for a few months. And after that, since I don’t feel it anymore, I go and have myself a good meal, if you kniw what I mean.

It is normal for us to face similar problem over and over again. And it is normal for people to come back to the old habit after the problem goes away. Even after we said to ourself at that moment not to do that anymore.

Is there a way to learn from our mistake and to make it better? I read an instruction manual on how to troubleshoot an issue in a software system. I think it is a helpful steps that we can do to observe our problem or bad habit, review it, and learn from it.

There are 5 steps to troubleshoot your life problem:
1. Define the problem.
    Just like solving a programming issue, we need to define the problem objectively. Admit the issue that you have. It will help you to review it objectively. At this point, it’s not about blaming other party or even blaming yourself. The idea is to ask yourself “what’s the problem/issue here?”

2. Take precautions
     In the heat of an argument, for some people, it is almost impossible to hold back the tongue or hands. You just want to curse the person back and even hit him/her to let them know they’re the one that make the problem. Or maybe, you are the type that become silent and not saying any words but hold the grudge out of it. In this step, Keep in mind that the goal is to take precaution. Whatever we do at the heat of the moment, we might regret it later. It is better to hold back. Take a deep breath and respond a bit slower. I know it is very hard. I’ve been there and I lost control. But remind yourself that life will goes on after this. How to make things better?

3. Eliminate possibilities
    Hopefully by now you know what the problem is and you have your mind ready to respond. After trying to respond slower, think on what is the starting of this problem or argument? Has it evolve and become other things? Our mind is like a great computer. When you ask questions to yourself, it will fill your thoughts with answer. So, think the right questions. It will help better to solve the problem (source)

4. Test one fix at a time
    Well, i know, our life is not like application that we can troubleshoot one area at a time. When we encounter the problem, it seems everything is blended together. But, try to think, what is the starting point of this argument? How can I fix this problem. If it is about your eating habit, think how to remind yourself on how to eat healthier. If it is about relationship issue, how can I respond better not over reacting?”. I like how David Allen mentioned in “Getting Things Done” about reaction. react like water. react to what comes to you. not over reacting to what’s happening.

5. Document your experience
    This is something that I’m still lacking. Usually after the problem cools down, I just don’t want to think about it. And behold, when the same problem comes again, I do the same thing again. I agree and I learn that it is helpful to write it down. I like to write it down in Evernote, so that I can review it again easily. Keep in mind that it is better to write it as it is and it’s about what you learn. don’t write it down about things that you wish you said during the problem, food that you wish not to eat that makes you increase your cholesterol level, or even the money that you wish you didn’t spent. Write it solely how you feel, and what it’s all about. And write down what you want to do in the future. This note will remind you on what to do on similar situation. It’s okay for you to write on paper or a journal, as long as you write it down. you’ll be amaze on how much you learn from the experience.

Robert Mull  in Fablehaven said “Smart people learn from their mistakes. But the real sharp ones learn from the mistakes of others.” I wish I can do that, but most of the time, I can’t. I believe that everyone has different problem. some problem might seem small for some people but huge for some others. That what makes it unique. In this case, learn from what comes from your life by those 5 steps. If you have opportunity to learn from other people’s mistake, learn from it too. By doing that, you’ll learn more and be better.

“Why do we fall sir?
So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.” – Alfred Pennyworth from Batman Begins

Question: Do you have different practice to learn from your mistake that you can share?