Do you still remember what was your impression when you meet with somebody for the first time? And after a while after you know him/her, do you still have the same impression? It’s funny how fast we can make judgment of somebody solely based on how they look. When we made that kind of judgement most of the time will be inaccurate. I do this kind of mistake too. Most of the time, I’ll look at how the person looks like and then I said to myself that this guy must be like this or like that. And the bad part is, it takes longer time to switch my perspective and impression for that person.

These are Here’s 3 things you need to consider before you made a judgment
1. Don’t judge the book by the cover.
I’m sure you have heard this phrase before. It makes you think on the content based on what you see. Although I agree that for job interview, it is important to impress your interviewer on how you look. But for a lot of case, it isn’t. You will miss the good from the person because of that. There’s a time when my wife was travelling abroad with her brother and her aunt. They just arrived there and they have just finished collecting their luggage. While they are still deciding on how to go to the next destination, Suddenly, a big guy who looked scary tap her aunt’s shoulder. They were surprised and thought that he would rob them. But in reality, he was the one who noticed that somebody else has grabbed on of their luggage and returned it back to them. Give people a chance to proof or to show who they really are and you’ll see a beauty on their heart.

I know that these days, a lot of people misused their appearance. They look good on the outside but really bad on the inside. That’s why you need to be aware on the other party not because of how they look but on who they really are. It takes time, and I hope we will have more wisdom to differentiate the good from the bad.

2. Apply to yourself on how you look at others
It is easier to judge people strictly but loosely on our side. When you judge or perceive bad values from others, do you apply the same criteria to yourself? I know it is hard. I can think a lot of reasons to validate my behavior and get upset when people misunderstood my intention and/or judge based on my appearance. Try to think how you would feel when they judge you the same way you judge others. On this note, don’t think and expect that, if you always people better than they look, they will do the same. Their judgement is out of your control. What you can do is to make sure that you slow to judge no matter how bad other’s perception is. Take control on what you can and let go the things that you can’t.

3. Allow more time to know the person (if possible)
Eyes are the window to your soul. If you think or judge people merely on their appearance, you’ll miss most of good things in others. I saw a video from somewhere (if you know what I mean, please let me know the video title or link, so I can put it in the comment of this post) can you help to let us know the video?) From the video, you can see that the people were given a few seconds to saw a picture of a person and asked to share what they think on that person. After that, they are given a few more seconds on what the person really do and then the projector slides out and apparently the real person was behind the wall, listenting to what he/she said about them. It was beautiful because it takes a few more seconds to know better on the person which most of the time, we misunderstand him/her

It is better to see and look for something that you can learn from others. Beside, appearance is temporary. you can change your appearances easily, but it takes time to change your mind and behavior. I like the presumption of innocence that I usually hear in a movie, that you are innocent until proven otherwise. So think of people as innocent until you know the whole picture. You might not have a chance to know everyone in detail, but when you do, allow them to proof themselves. I can’t deny that the first impression matters, but as much as possible, be as fair as possible. It is better to think better of the person compare to lower, because when you think better, it will build yourself to be better and it will help you to spot better things in others. You’ll be surprised by how much things you can learn from others.

We are social being. Our behavior and perspective will be formed from a lot of sources, and the major ones is by other people. So instead of think and see worse thing out of people, which will make you spot more worse thing in your life, why not look the best out of the people? By that you will have more chance to grow yourself and make your life better.

Question: What would you do or required to change or to delay your judgment for others?

John 7: 24 – Stop judging by mere appearances, but instead judge correctly.