After trying to push aside this thoughts for some time, this thoughts came back to me again, which is “Who are you?” If I ask to you, to describe about who you are, how do you tell me about yourself? I’m sure  you can prepare your resume, your historical record of your studies, your previous and current job, your achievement, etc. But what if I’m telling you, it’s not about your job, your education, or your appearance, how do you describe who you are? I found that it is hard to describe who we are without all those things.

I believe that no matter where we are, either other people or our mind is always comparing something with another. Do you feel that way? Maybe it’s just me, sonetime when I saw people drive expensive car, I thought to myself “when can I get that car?” And most of the time, it happened when I see somebody who (I think) better than me. Can you relate to that? Have you ever wonder why there’s a saying “the grass is always greener on the other side”? It’s because you are too busy looking at other’s people grass and you forget to water your own.

Thinking about this topic, I received 2 recommendations to see myself differently The first book is “see yourself as God sees you” by Josh Macdowell. And the second one, I heard it from a podcast called “How the world sees you” by Sally Hogshead. From these 2 books I learn 4 lessons to correct my perspective:
1. You are unique
No one else can be yourself beside yourself. Often times, we thought our self higher or lower because we are comparing with others. Either way, remember that your role is important because no one else can replace you. I like Michael Hyatt podcast‘s slogan “your life is a gift, now go make it counts. If you know that no one else can do the unique things you do, what will you do? Make sure you do more things that unique to you.

2. Find your inner uniqueness
I feel that the world’s education has made most people into the same mould. We are running  in a rat race to compete with other people who sometime better than us. Of course, it is good in the sense that it can motivate you to keep improving. But, if you learn something just because your parents told you so or just because people told you that it is the ‘in’ thing at the moment, it might me motivating enough for now, but when the hard time comes, you’ll lose the motivation. Unless you love what you learn, it’s better to find other things. You’ll be able to grow more in your strength rather than in your weakness.

3. Compare yourself with yourself
There’s a story that reminds me about this point. Usually, especially in school and in my family, the teachers and my parents will think to motivate me by comparing myself with my peers that they know. But the bad thing is, it becomes counter intuitive for some people. Maybe you experience the same thing and it motivates you to work harder, but there are some other people, like me, that become demotivated because it seems that what I’ve been trying is always wrong. The lesson from this book is to look at yourself. Find what works for you, not what works for other people. I agree that there are certain standard that you need to achieve. But it’s better to focus on things that you know it will give better return. Just like investment, it is recommended to invest in something you familiar, rather than the unknown. It will be much safer and give better returns.

4. Lean yourself on the eternal things.
It is easier to work hard and to identify yourself with something that you can hold. That’s why people often times hold their self esteem in what they are doing or what they have. But what if one day, you don’t have it anymore? Is that mean you lost your identity? My parents told me, there are something in life that would become ‘ex’, for example, ex school, ex-colleague, ex-roommate, ex-girl/boyfriend, ex-wife, ex-husband, etc. But there’s no ‘ex-parent’. Now, if you know there’s an absolute, who or what are you leaning on? who will you put as your ‘parent’ of identity?

At the end, with the right perspective about yourself, it will help you to determine what you are going to do. It will give you reason on why you need to do what you do. I like the way McDowell explained in his book: “Your core identity and particularly your perception of it, plays a vital role in determining how you carry yourself in daily life, how much joy you experience, how you treat other people, and how you respond to God. It is essential that you know who you are apart from what you look like and what you do.”

Question: how do you perceive yourself? What do you do to get the right identity of yourself?

“If you’re not making mistakes, you’re not putting yourself out there… you are not taking the sort of risks that are inherent in any degree of meaningful success. Mistakes are tuition.” – Sally Hogshead

John 1:12 “But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God”

Reference:

Print Friendly, PDF & Email