I found that expectation is one of the thing that’s hard to manage. Every one can have different assumption if you don’t describe what you want. Sometimes, even when you think that there’s only one way to do something, there’s somebody that totally has different way to do it. And that makes you feel upset. Have you ever had that feeling? Even though the basic is communication, it seems that there’s still some room of improvement needs to be done. At least for me, it shows that I’m still lack in communication.

There are several incidents that help me realize the importance of communication. Especially upon setting or managing expectation. It might be simple, but sometimes I missed it. Here are 3 things to communicate to set the expectation.
1. Communicate what you expect.
My wife just gave birth and we’re still learning to be good parents. To do this, we asked help to her parents to help us cope with the new situation. on the first week, we feel that it was annoying and we feel that they overstep our boundary. We’re fortunate to have her auntie to come to town and help to see the situation. She explained things on what my mother in law was assuming during this time. Then I realize, it was a simple miscommunication.

Likewise, maybe you have your own assumption in what other people should do to help you in your task. Trust me this one, unless your friend is a psychic, you won’t be able to manage the expectation without communicating. tell the other person what you mean and what you expect. Don’t assume that the other person knows exactly what you want. Tell and answer what you want the other person to know.

2. Communicate what you get from the other person.
Of course you know that communication are formed two ways. Likewise, setting up expectation can be done by clarifying what has been told to you. During this busy time trying to adjust my time with work, helping my wife around the house, and taking care of the baby, There are some things that me and my wife assume we know. My wife asked me to buy lunch for her. She has specified the type of food that she wants, but I thought during this period, it’s better for her to eat soupy kind of food. I decided to buy the soupy food and she was upset. later on I learned that she felt bored with the food that she needs to eat everyday during this time, she needs alternative. It might be not to healthy at this moment, but once in a while should be ok.

There’s a time when you receive a request or message from another person, your mind help you fill the gap. The bad news is it might not be the actual truth. Even though sometimes it is annoying, I feel that it’s better to clarify early, so that you can agree or ask the other person to agree with your decision. That way, everyone is satisfies, knowing what to expect  in the current situation.

3. Communicate the progress
There are many times I failed at this. I’m sure when you’re busy doing something or a project, sometimes you’re too stuck to think another way. I was overwhelmed by what I need to do to take care of my newborn. There’s a project that I forgot to update and my manager call me over and over again until I answer the call. Apparently I haven’t explained the update that I did, so that the client was escalating the matter to my big boss. I was thinking during a bit of down time, maybe 5 minutes when the baby is sleeping, I should have time to update, but I didn’t, so that my manager have different assumption that makes thing worse.

There will be time when you feel that you don’t have time to do anything else. I’m still learning, that I should find time to give a brief update. And it’s really important to set the expectation. A brief and regular update is better than one time update. Because when you have a brief update, you let other people know how far you are until completion, rather than give a surprise and not enough time to find alternative. Just like when you’re planning to go on holiday and suddenly, your flight was canceled 2 hours before your departure. I’m sure you’ll feel helpless on how to take care on the rest of the things that you have booked for your holiday.

Do you have similar experience on having different expectation? Or you are good in setting up the expectation in other people. If you are, then it’s good. Please share your experience and how you give regular update in your tight schedule. I’m sure there are some people out there have the same experience like me. I hope what I share here will be able to help you and me to set better expectation to other people.

Question: have you experience setting up wrong expectation by accident? how do you set proper expectation?

“The worst thing isn’t when things screw up. That’s just life. The worst thing is being surprised with no time to fix things.” – Stever Robbins

2 Corinthians 9:8 – And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.