In the previous post, I’ve mentioned 3 reasons to listen. But at this current era, there are a lot of things and people waiting to share their thoughts to you. Waiting for you and me to listen to their words. Not only in a normal situation, but it’s the same in the workplace. Our bosses and clients might have something to say and they force us to listen. There might be time when you don’t have a choice not to listen, but listen to it anyway.

Do you know the difference between hearing and listening? Some people stop at hearing. Hearing is just like hearing some noises. Most of the time, I’m not listening to music. I’m hearing music. Because I don’t care what’s the lyric or most of the time, I’m hearing instrumental. As much as I want to listen to music, I just enjoy it as entertainment rather than focusing on what’s the emotion behind the music.

Since we have limited time and might not have the same opportunity to hear certain things twice, we need to be active listener. We need to be intentional in what we are listening. Especially for those you can control. Here’s 4 advice on how to be an active listener

1. Remove the judgment from the person who talks
I’m sure you’ll be selective to choose which seminar that you want to attend. You don’t want to attend and even pay for somebody that you don’t know to share his thought, right? Unfortunately, in real life, many people want to share something in our life. The first advice, that I’ve learned is to remove the judgment about the speaker. He might be known of having not clear line of thoughts and confuse others. What if that person is you? I’m sure you have something great to say, but when people have wrong impression, they lose the opportunity to hear great things. Likewise, there’s might be something that you can learn from anyone. So remove your judgment from that people. You’ll be surprised by what you can learn from others.

2. Take a note on what’s being discussed/shared
It is true for normal meeting and just a chat with your friend. It might be easier for a meeting, because you know the purpose of the meeting. But, try in any situation, try to take note on what has been said. Recently, I have a small gathering with my former MBA classmates. We shared about what has happened in our life. I know, it’s just a normal conversation between friend and some experience shared. But I found a ‘gold’ in that conversation. I’m not taking note in front of them, but after we got home, I open my phone and write things down from what I learn. Have you feel that way? To have listen to the good experience that your friends has encounter, and then? Nothing happen. It’s just a story right? From that experience, I feel that when you listen to people, you can learn something, and when you learn something, note it down before the business of life takes away what you have learn

3. Choose who and what you listen
Like I said, I believe there are a lot of things that you can listen. news, podcast, movie, etc. What kind of things that you choose to listen? When you’re young, you’ll feel that you can listen to anything. Any good or bad things, you’ll just consume it. But what if you don’t have much time? What kind of things will you listen? I know that after a hard day, you prefer to listen to something refreshing right? At least, I can say that that’s true for me. Luckily for me, my bad day or hard day is not often, so on my sober day, I’ll try to listen to something that will help me in my current and/or my future. And this action has to be intentional. you won’t be able to do that if you’re not intentional. Be mindful in what you listen, because what you listen will shape your life.

4. Have the attitude of learning.
I’m sure that no matter how good the speaker is or how beneficial the topic is, it won’t take effect on your life, if you don’t have a learning attitude. The message might be good, but that’s it. It’s just good. It has no effect in your life. By having the attitude of learning, you’ll personalize the content that you just listen and apply in your life. Most of the time, it will be hard. Some might even be abstract for you. But try your best to learn out of it. The only person that knows best your situation is yourself. I’m sure it will help you and I to face the difficulties in life.
All of us have ear to hear, but are we listening? And when we’re listening, what kind of things do we listen? you and I have limited time and there’s a lot of things that we can listen. I hope, we can choose the better things to listen to improve our life.

Question: What can we do to help us to be more intentional in listening?

“Most of the successful people I’ve known are the ones who do more listening than talking.” – Bernard M. Baruch000