Last Sunday, we just celebrate mother’s day. For those mother’s out there, I hope you had a blast days. You have done a really great job in bringing up your children. And for the children out there, hope you make an effort to celebrate with your mom. As for me, I can’t be with her together, because I’m working overseas. I can only called her and asked how she’s doing and say happy mother’s day. Although in previous blog (family vs work) I’ve shared about how to limit work time, so that we can have time with our family, I am still struggling with keeping contact with my parents. It seems that I don’t have filial piety that for me to remember them, I need to put it on schedule to call them. Most of the time, I usually think to call them after I’m done with this thing (whatever that thing is), and without realizing, months has been passed. I’m not sure how well you are in keeping contact with your parents, but while you have the opportunity, call them. And if you can, spend time with them. Some other people might not have the same luxury like you to still able to spend time with them in person.

Today’s topic is not about spending time with your parent though, but it’s about preparing yourself as a ‘parent’. It doesn’t have to be physical parent, but about influencing others around you. The chances of meeting people are very high, unless you live alone in a very rural area. You might not interact with them physically, but you can still give some influence to them. A few weeks ago, I saw a parent with their young child waiting for their turn to cross the street. I was standing behind them and there are some other people around us. The road was empty since it’s not a main road. It was really tempting to just cross although the walk sign is still red. There’s a person who “bold” enough to cross the road. I was still standing there when I heard that the kid asked his parents, “why don’t we cross too?” I didn’t quite catch what his parents say, but I’m sure it’s hard to explain something that we should not do, while others are doing otherwise. If you’re in that road, What will you do ?

Influence is something that we learn and teach to others. We might not know why we do certain thing because it’s learned from some experience in the past. There are 3 things that we can do or think to prepare ourself to give better influence:
1. Learn from good example
Our life is intertwine with one another. Online or real life, a lot of things are giving us an example. Be intentional in guarding yourself to pick the influence. I love learning from movies. I like more to learn from animation movies compare to other types because they have more intentional in giving a message compare to others. I like other type of movies also, but I haven’t got a chance to watch a new movies recently, so i’m not sure what movies that I can recommend.

You can also learn from your colleagues or your friends. No matter whether you like them or not, they might be able to teach you something. But keep in mind, don’t leave all the good learning that you have received. It is better to replace the bad ones with the good ones, so that hopefully, one day you’ll have no room to do bad things. There are a lot more influences that you can get than the time that you have, pick the ones that will build you up.

2. Be present
I believe that when you’re not focus, you do something that you usually do without much thought. What kind of action is it? This will be your habit. I hope you have a good habit, so that at the end, even when you’re not realizing it, you still do the right thing. Nowadays, there are a lot of distractions in our life. You might think that you can multi-task, but in reality, no. Some people say men, and some other say women are better at multitasking, but is it? I learn that so far, multitasking is only working for things that you do over and over again. You can breathe, walk, type, eat, drive and some other things, while doing other things because you’ve done it a lot of times. but if you learn to listen to a lecture while playing games, that will not be effective. So if you want to be sure you are giving a good example, be present in what you’re doing.

I’m sure that you’ll be offended when you’re trying to teach something, and no one is paying attention. Or when you’re talking one on one, the other party seems like thinking something else. Likewise, when you learn or you teach something, be present. because by doing so, you’re respecting the other person. And that, by itself is setting up a good example for others. There will be time when you’ll be very distracted by what you need to do, but as much as you can, focus on the task on hand. You’ll be able to do it faster compare than when you’re distracted.

3. Set an example
We need to admit that we are social being. Although, we might not care about how others perspective about us, we still give influence to them. I’m still failing in this point, but while I am still able to change, I’ll learn it. Last month, I was working with a colleague from overseas. From my company, those people who are working overseas get a stipend as per use basis. We called it per diem. One day, we were ordering from the same stall, and the shop owner put both our orders in the same receipt. I still pay for my share, but I thought, and tell him, since he’s been working really hard, why don’t he just submit the claim with this receipt. What would you do? the voice is quite strong and conducive to make you do it, right? What he did was basically saying no and he really write down the correct amount on the receipt. Isn’t it awesome?

Can you imagine? I gave a bad advice by telling him it’s okay to cheat. No matter how small or big, it’s still not the truth. When you have an opportunity to give an example, what kind of example do you want to give? Will it be the same example when somebody else is looking? I learned from this lesson that I might give a bad influence even without me realizing it. And the worse part is that I’m setting up myself to build the habit to do bad things. Just like a small rudder can make a ship turn, a small habit can turn your course of life. By giving an example or doing something based on what we learned, it will imprint that lesson deeper in our heart, compare to just listening to it.
Influence is about how others are affected by what you’re doing. There will be times when the distractions are so much so that you won’t be able to think through of what you’re doing, or there are just fatigue that makes you not wanting to do anything. Whatever you do, it will give impact to you and to other people. Be grateful with what you can contribute to others. You are unique and there is something that you will leave behind for the younger generation. Now, what kind of influence that you want to leave

What other things that we can do to prepare ourselves to give good influence to other people?

Colossians 3: 23 – “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord”